How Much Shipping!

Now and again on eBay a tool emerges. A tool of FAIL. A person who either knows precisely fuck all and thinks things are normal, or indeed knows exactly what they're doing in the hope of a gullible twat coming along who thinks everything is normal. For this example i'm going with the latter.

Lets say you're in the market for a Gothic, Dragon Shelf. Nothing of note on eBay UK so you check the International box to see if your shelf of dreams is elsewhere on the planet. And lo, it exists in the Good old US of A. So, you have a look at the listing... it's expensive, but dreams usually are. Shipping is reasonable for an item this size & weight / distance it has to travel. And for once an estimate on what the Customs are going to rape you for have also been included:

But you know the rules of eBay, you search like a searchy thing to find that dream a little bit cheaper. And cheaper it becomes until you look at what (in my opinion) is the most ambitious shipping cost i have ever seen........

 I emailed the seller, enquiring if they had made an error in the listing as the shipping cost made no sence. I also informed them that another seller was listing the same item and their shipping cost was only $54.63. The reply... "WHAT!!!! I couldn't even ship 2 blocks down for that fucking price"

Needless to say i didn't buy it.

Errrm, It's Friday!

Yep, that time of the week is upon us once again. That time where people all over the place start celebrating the end of the working week by posting annoying "WooHoo" pics to indicate to the peoples of the planet that the end of the week has once again been achieved. Ok, so i, like everyone else like Friday... it's the weekend, partay, etc, but i don't need a constant barrage of pics of a puppy doing an invisible high five that someone has meme'd 'Friday'all over the pic. Want me to get more excited over a picture of Friday? Ok then, here you go..... a picture of Friday:

 

 

Ok, so it's Pr0n Star Danni Friday. But, Friday non the less, and much more appealing than some talentless bint singing that "today is Friday because yesterday was Thursday and tomorrow is Saturday so by default today must be Friday" on the YouTubes.

 

But i don't want to come across as a hater of Fridays. I like the weekends and even i have shitty weeks whereby i 'thank fuck that's done with' at the end of the working week and relish in the weekend. So to keep it real, because WooHoo!!! It's Friday, here's a pic of an Uzi wielding dinosaur riding a shark.

 

 

 

The Tao of Tim!

Who is Tim!? What is Tim!? Why is Tim!? Only Tim! has these answers. Myself, Matt, Big Dave and Richie "no longer VR" Whitehouse do not have the foggiest idea.

Twas a Saturday night and snow was on the ground. After a gentle hoof around Ely's bars we ventured into The Hereward, and (only because it was snowing / bastard cold and wasn't quite as full) secured a table.

Everything was running to plan, beers were being drunk, random conversations and banter were being exchanged and then Richie decided to go outside for a smoke, thus leaving his seat vulnerable to an attack. And attacked it was, not in a stealthy fashion mind, but a complete 'not a fuck was given' drunken plonk of a random person known only as Tim!

"Dafuq is this?" glances were passed, while Tim slumbered in his new chair. What happened next is not even a blur, therefore cannot be explained but something or someone startled Tim!. Out came his old style Nokia, which was quickly dismantled and repeatedly punched into the table. Much to our amusement. It was at this point that we decided to adopt said Tim! and ply him with Jaegerbombs. (Jaegerbombs were on the menu at some point in the evening, i think we used Tim! as an excuse to start on them earlier). So i trundled to the bar and secured a £30 round of the 'Bombs.

And that was that. I have no recollection of anything further that happened before we got back to my gaff, apart from Tim! was from Newmarket. Dunno if he was a Jockey.


*Matt was reported saying to my wife the next day "it was all going nicely, a few beers were being had.... then the fucking Jaegerbombs came out". I believe he was then sick.

Anyways, proof of the existence of Tim!...

WPC Clownshoe

So, you're being robbed. What do you do?* Take the blaggers on? Or dial 999 and risk getting sued?

Seems like the latter is the firm favourite as a member of the Lady Sweeney had a tumble at a petrol station and has lawyered up to rinse the owner. So, lets look at some stuff...



The area was poorly lit... so use your Mag-Light then love! I'm pretty sure all 'Five-O' carry them.

Or did it happen because Lady Po-Po was a tad portly and couldn't see the kerb due to 'paunch'? Surely carrying that gut, plus all of the required uniform / tactical gear she couldn't have been going fast enough to trip up anything

Glad to see there's a required fitness level to be a Cop in this country.

There may be a small glint of light at the end of the tunnel.... if the owner has CCTV footage of the 'trip' then he can stick it into You've Been Framed and get £250... it's not much but it's a bit off the overall bill.

Cats.

More importantly, pics of cats that make me either laugh or go WTF!  So here's one of each.